Five People You Meet Backstage at a Show or Festival

Find out which annoying character you become when you hit backstage! There are no right or wrong answers – you may even find yourself wondering if you’re some hybrid of all 5.

The ‘We should collaborate, bro’ Can usually be spotted crowding in on any performer in the vicinity, and always has his SoundCloud link on deck to let you know all about his latest mix and how dope a collaboration would be. Respecting the network is one thing, but there’s a time and a place for it, and the fact that this person just doesn’t get is probably his biggest flaw.

The ‘#LoveMyJob #Blessed #TourLife’ This person still has to remind everyone that yes, they go on tour with major artists and get paid to do it! If you’re a music lover this is obviously a dream gig whether your ego allows you to admit it or not. Even though they’re taking selfies on stage so they can use those cool hashtags later, they’ll still be the first ones to try and swing their dick to prove their authority.

The ‘homie that goes way, way back’ Is he in the ‘industry’? Or does he just have a big bag of drugs? Either way, you may never really find out and to be honest no one should really give a fuck anyway. It’s the kid who always ends up in the green room one way or another, and like previously mentioned, he’ll probably hook up the goods just because he thinks he needs a reason to be backstage. His shitty habit of name-dropping is the only real annoyance to deal with. Who are you to stop him from living his life?

The random fan This can get pretty fun depending on the level of fan the trespasser is. Sometimes you can blow their mind with some once in a lifetime experiences that top them hopping a fence backstage, and other times you’ve just gained a grimy little festival runner who will complete party favor tasks simply because. Eventually these kids will get dealt with before you even have a chance to have fun with the situation, because a stage manager’s eye is like a goddamn hawk’s.

The ‘I’m not a groupie, I’m just a really good friend’ Maybe it isn’t their fault that all they date are musicians, because I mean, artists are just like, there all the time – but these girls know exactly what they’re doing, and they’re still young enough to get it. They may also be ‘performers’ of some nature, and carry around a hula hoop. Don’t hate – if anything, make friends and get that guest list hook up. She’ll do all the work while you enjoy the ‘too early to fuck her friend’ phase.

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